Why is it, that at near 2 am, my mind thinks it is an appropriate time to start thinking and going through possible scenarios that could possibly occur? It so ridiculous. It is even more ridiculous that I am letting him take up space in my mind. Going through things I will say to him when I see him in person.. come on Amanda! 1. He is not even worried about what he will say to you. 2. You probably will never see him. 3. GET OVER IT! ugh!!!! Its so revolting. It get's me the most because I am over here agonizing at 2 am, I can't sleep... and where is he right now? Probably sound asleep cuddling with her. The woman that was worth breaking my heart over. I really have to break free of this. It has gone way too far. My body is paying for this stress.... my face is breaking out.. I have been gaining weight... I can't run nearly as good as could before.. It sucks cause I used to use him as motivation to run. It was when I thought we were going to reconcile and everything would be great like before. I need ME to be my motivation. not him. but you Amanda! I need to start picturing my goals. My wants and dreams. When I can be enough, I think I will start getting myself back together. I need to remind myself that I AM good enough! That I am worth it to God.
Keep vigilant watch over your heart; that's where life starts. Proverbs 4:23
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